My ‘Freshly Pressed’ Acceptance Speech

Let me tell you the story of a girl – the story of a girl with a dream.

She dreamt of being Freshly Pressed.

No, she wasn’t confusing herself with an orange.

She wasn’t confusing herself with a crumpled T-shirt.

All she wanted was for the admin of WordPress to recognize her blog and give her a place on the ‘Freshly Pressed’ page.

And on the twelfth of July 2013, thanks to the Daily Post Challenge and a post titled ‘I like you, WordPress. I like you a lot’, her dream came true. 
                                   _____________________________________

When I checked my inbox, expecting to find nothing but dust and cobwebs, I was amazed to find a hundred-odd e-mails waiting for me. My first thought was that all the spammers of the world were writing to show their appreciation for my uninhibited support and to thank me for advocating that spammers too are human beings with hearts.

But I was wrong.

All the e-mail was from WordPress. 
                                   _____________________________________

To everyone who liked, followed, commented or reblogged: I cannot thank you enough. Thanks to your kindness and generosity, I now have enough e-mail to last a lifetime. I refuse to delete even a single one of those e-mails. Next week, when my inbox falls into a state of disuse once again, I will look at these e-mails wistfully, and reminisce about the good ol’ times.

To everyone who commented: While I did try my very best to respond to every comment, I apologize if I missed any. I would also like to apologize profusely for using too many emoticons and too many exclamation marks. You see, plain words weren’t enough to express my joy and excitement, so I had to resort to colons, capital D’s and close bracket symbols.

And I’m also very sorry if my comments started to seem repetitive. This was partly because of the sheer number of comments coming in, and partly because of my very limited vocabulary. I was unable to express my gratitude in ways other than ‘thanks’, ‘thank you’, and, just to mix it up a little bit, ‘thank you very much’. At one point, I thought of saying, “From the very bottom of my heart, I would like to offer my deepest gratitude,” but then I decided to ditch the idea for fear of sounding over-sentimental.

In a few of the replies, I did try to be witty, but I apologize to all the bloggers who were witness to this horror.

I also thought that I should tell you that I took the suggestions offered by some bloggers, and hired my mother to help out with the comments. However, I was left no option but to fire her when (seeing that her daughter’s post had received so many likes) she began to shed tears of joy. The last thing I needed was an emotional employee.

And, last but not the least, to all my spammers: I thank you very much for standing by me in the very beginning, following me and commenting on my very first posts, thus encouraging me in the initial stages. But I don’t need you anymore. I’ve got real people following me now.

P.S. I must say, it appears that my acknowledgement of spammers as being people with hearts seems to have emboldened them quite a bit. One particular company was brazen enough to give me writing advice. “Your keyword must appear in the title. You must make sure it has a keyword density of 3-5%. Your keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence. You should have relevant usage of bold and italics.” Then they offered me plug-ins to do this, just in case I failed to comply with their demands.

So, to end –
I’m extremely grateful to WordPress for featuring me on Freshly Pressed.

But I’m even more grateful to all the WordPress bloggers and readers who commented, liked, followed, reblogged or just appreciated my post. You made me feel warm and fuzzy again.

The closet narcissist says thank you.

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24 comments on “My ‘Freshly Pressed’ Acceptance Speech

  1. White Pearl says:

    You are such a good writer ! I was smiling while reading your post and I loved it ! I don’t want to say words which destroy the beauty of this post….But this is love !! I read you freshly pressed one too and I must say I have never seen the style in which you write ! Love it all xx

  2. msable says:

    I love the lightly sarcastic tone you have in this piece. I know much of it is genuine but there is still some sarcastic element which makes your work so much fun to read!

  3. You do make it quiet inspiring to get more into the wordpress thing… Seems like facebook is on the outs even as far as entertainment (gossip) is concerned at least for me. Fun to join in on a whole new community.

  4. bloggervogger says:

    haha…mommy shedding tears is an emotional employee… i loved this… you are too funny 😉

  5. technophile9 says:

    Funny! I wish you great success. And I’ve received that spam email too, though I couldn’t make out a word of it. 😉

  6. GabbiM says:

    Hahaha I loved it! Greetings to the ex-employee..

  7. mattvonp says:

    Oh dear, as long as you keep writing, your inbox will keep overflowing 🙂

  8. Glad you were “chosen” for this “major award!” Will be following now, curious what happens afterward, and I enjoy your writing style!

  9. oh my…
    your posts are so very likeable, and i think it’s because your writing is bright and strings a chord with “real human followers”!
    i’m always reminded of my own quirky thoughts, when i read yours.
    but it’s a happy reminder. 🙂

    keep it up 😀

  10. cringing says:

    I’m absolutely obsessed with your blog-every post really showcases your witty, quirky humour. I’m immensely happy to have found your blog through freshly pressed (along with many other lucky bloggers) for you’re hilarious! If I may ask, how long does it take for you to write each blog post?

  11. Amy Warren says:

    Well done on the acceptance speech! You truly have a knack for humor. It takes talent to make spam funny, and you pull it off with grace.

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