Writing makes me feel like Iron Man.

The first story I ever wrote was about an anthropomorphic tiger named Timothy. I was 7 and the story had been lifted directly from a book of bedtime stories that I had read multiple times. It was my first act of plagiarism. Not intentional, of course, but my naïve young mind believed that this story was a product of my own wondrous imagination. For all the adulation I received, I believed that I was a child prodigy, like Mozart, or Christopher Robin.

I wasn’t, obviously. But that’s when I realized how much I liked to plagiarize write.

I wrote my first poem soon after. It came to me in a flash of brilliance. I called it ‘Baa Baa White Sheep’. It was exactly like ‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ but with ‘White’ instead of ‘Black’. I suppose I was a little racist back then.

Eventually, I understood the concept of originality and wrote my first real original poem. It was called ‘Wishes’. It went like this:

Once Peggy broke five dishes,
A genie came and gave her some wishes,
‘I want a pony’ Peggy said.
Four wishes left.

Once Peggy broke five dishes,
A genie came and gave her some wishes,
‘I want some cookies’ Peggy said.
Three wishes left.

And it continues like this until Peggy exhausts all of her five wishes.

It was basically an amalgamation of my experience with Disney movies, household chores involving crockery and Enid Blyton books. Also, some sporadic rhyme thrown in for good measure. Till date, it is the best thing I have ever written.

My point is, I’ve always loved to write. When people ask me what my hobby is, I say, “Writing”. Some people look at me like I’m soft in the head when I say this because they think that I mean just writing in general – putting a pen to paper and writing random words. Okay, I’ll admit, that is kind of what I do. But not in the ‘practising my handwriting’ sense, of course (which is what people often assume I mean). The effect is amplified if I say “Reading and writing”. It’s like something a kindergartner would say – “In class today, we practiced our reading and writing.”

I’m not going to say that I like writing because it gives me the freedom of expression or that ‘the pen is mightier than the sword.’ Honestly, I can express myself just as well through speech, and swords can kill people whereas pens can’t (unless wielded by dangerous psychopathic criminals).

I like to write because it makes me seem smart.

I agree – this blog is definitely not evidence for the aforementioned statement. But when you write you can simply string together a random set of words without people thinking that you’re crazy. For example, if I write, “Onward he writ, a walk from lands away”, people would have a thousand interpretations for it and I would probably be lauded as a literary genius. In fact, this was probably William Shakespeare’s modus operandi. He just looked around his bedroom, wrote down any observable nouns, and then filled in the gaps with archaic pronouns, preposition and punctuation.
“Thou hast no wardrobe for thy portly attire, light bids thou farewell.”
Voila! You have an instant Shakespearean quote.

On the other hand, if I actually said something like that out loud, I would face one of two possible outcomes:
1. I would be in the hospital for treatment for possible aphasia OR
2. My mother would yell at me for “sassing” her.

Other than the fact that writing can make me sound smart (something which is so difficult to put across verbally in my case) I also love to write because it gives me a sense of power. I don’t advocate that a pen can be used as a weapon of course. Homer’s Odyssey on the other hand…pretty potent, that. I speak from experience.

No, what I mean is that being able to write allows you to write anything that you want to read. If it hasn’t been written, you can write it. Well, you can write it even if it has been written, as my childhood writing exploits have demonstrated. But this is generally frowned upon by society.

So there you go. Writing is fun. Writing makes you sound smart. Writing gives you power. Basically, writing is like being Iron Man.

It’s a wonder more people don’t do it.

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24 comments on “Writing makes me feel like Iron Man.

  1. technophile9 says:

    Yay for writing! I hope to be an author one day, but we’ll see how things turn out.

    I can very much sympathise. One of the reasons I love using big words unnecessarily is that it makes me look smart. I managed to slip in the word anthropomorphic into a writing homework and I felt pretty smug. 😉

    Coincidentally, one of my first (but not the first) stories I wrote was about a tiger with numbers all over his body. I was an avid explorer who wanted to take the numbers. Or perhaps I was a mathematician. Or a poacher. Anyhow, I distinctly remember using the phrasing “a pack of lies”. 😛

    • mushroomsup says:

      When I was much younger, I wanted to be “an author who illustrates her own books”. Over the years, I decided to ditch the “illustrator” part and to stick to the authoring bit for now.

      My favourite smart-sounding words are anthropomorphic and juxtaposition. They’re especially useful when it comes to English Literature homework.

      “A pack of lies.” I like that phrase. I’m going to use it in my next story. Though I suppose I’m a bit too old now for it to sound impressive. Ah well.

  2. Great post. I really enjoyed it. I wish I still had the poems I wrote as a kid.

  3. speakingwins says:

    Anthropomorphic is a terrific word. Another word to whip out regularly is verisimilitude. You can impress (or at least confuse) a lot of people with verisimilitude.

  4. […] Writing makes me feel like Iron Man.. […]

  5. Writing is powerful for so many reasons. Mostly because it makes us feel good.

  6. Puffetic says:

    Yeah, I tried writing once… but it didn’t really work out for me. Now I just sit in a dark corner and plot the destruction of the universe. But since I can’t write, my planning phase has stagnated somewhat.

  7. Holly says:

    Haha love this. Glad to hear you found your voice, minus the baa baa white sheep 😉

  8. Very funny. Loved reading this.

  9. tartarsaucer says:

    Your Iron man thing is cool

  10. Celesta says:

    Thank you! Love this post! I’m wishing writing made me feel like Iron Man. Great perspective!

  11. Priyal says:

    I think this is definitely one of my favourites here because: 1. EXACTLY!
    2. I can justify the ravings of a melodramatic teen now, thank you.
    3. Stringing random words together seems to have a lot of potential now 😀

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